What.the.literal.fuck!?!?!
this is why I’m not watching it the American Music Awards.
Asha and I decided that we needed to list the best quotes from this quarter before we get drunk and forget them. If you’ve been quoted, feel special because you are. :)
- “Less teeth, more tongue”— Floyd
- Valen: My vagina feels weird.
Asha: You’re vagina should be happy right now.
- “You were parallel to the ground.” — Valen
- “Puffy vagina” —Floyd & Clinton
- “This isn’t the hood, my aunt took me here.”—Sean
- “Can we make out?” — Floyd
- Asha: Valen, it’s a bunny!
Valen: My friend’s chasing a bunny like she’s never seen a damn rabbit before.
- Valen: I kissed my first white guy at Warped Tour.
Sean: Valen, you’re so white!
- “Here’s to being pretty” —Asha
- “He looks like a blowfish!”—Valen
- “Rigamarole is a word! Dane Cook said it!” —Valen
- “Why is everyone so mean to me? —Valen
- “That’s so joe” —Asha
- “Look at the rafters” —Floyd
- “Dude, he totally just licked my mouth.”—Valen
- Asha: I want cookies
Wale: We aint got no cookies but I got a penis.
- “Can I sleep under the bed!?!” —Melvin
- “I want a Wawa!” —Asha
- “I HATE the fuckin blue line.” —Asha
- “It always BUTTS it’s way into conversations.” —Floyd
- Valen: Take one for the team Asha! I’m not trying to pimp you out, I swear!
- “I gotta peeeee!!!!!!”—Asha & Valen
- Valen: Can’t we just pee in a nice alley?
Asha: I’m not gonna pee outside!
- “Valen, I’m drunk.”—Asha
- Asha: She has great boobs
Valen: Yeah, but they’re fake, that doesn’t count!
- “You gonna be wifey!”—random dudes at the Halloween party to Asha and me
- “I have Pop Tarts in my room.”—Valen
- “My name is Asha, like Tasha without the T”—Asha
- “My name is Valen, like Valentine.”—Valen
- I kept falling asleep with Degrassi on now I can’t say sorry I say it sorrie.”—Valen
- (Asha & me singing Best I Ever Had in the street drunk) “You guys skipped a WHOLE verse.”—honestly we’re to drunk to remember who told us this.